It is now 9:08 a.m. as I sit down and begin my first ever attempt at blogging. My home healthcare provider has just arrived to help with house cleaning and personal hygiene, as needed. I claim to be a morning person. But am I really? Come with me and we’ll decide together if indeed this is true. It is 7:15 a.m. The alarm goes off. I open my eyes. Well, sort of. Reach over and hit the snooze and proceed to do this two times before I have bargained enough with my body to pull myself up by the bed rails and sit on the side of the bed. Like every morning for the past ten years, I feel like death warmed over. This is the only way that I can describe how I feel. I then manage to stand, hold on to an assortment of furniture as I gingerly walk to the bathroom. My body has reminded me once again that my mind will be in a struggle to convince myself that I can do everything that I desire to do. Check! Albeit, longer than I have desired, I have managed to complete mandatory hygienic tasks! However, instead of feeling accomplished, or even proud, I’m drained. As I walk out of the bathroom and make my way to sit on the end of the bed, I usually mutter a few choice words in response to the way my body has chosen to feel. Yes, even a positive person like me can make Mother Teresa’s ears burn. But as in each and every morning, a calming voice walks over and soothes all that is wrong. My wife, my everything, she is waiting there to help with all those physical tasks that must be done before I’ll even agree to leave the bedroom. Honestly, I don’t know how she does it. A woman herself who is just now entering her final week of treatment after months of battling breast cancer. Whenever I think about what she has had to endure in her fight, I find myself feeling guilty at times asking for her help. She quickly reminds me that we are a partnership. I smile as I look at her and think to myself how lucky I am. OK, so it is 8:46 a.m. and I am beginning to feel human again. My muscles are loosening the intense grip, the battle that they seem to be having with each other inside of me. Ahhh! This feels better! Maybe I am a morning person after all! Yes, Cerebral Palsy has robbed me of several things. But things could be worse, much worse! I still have a mind! So, if you all continue to show interest, I’ll keep digging things out of this big head to share with you.
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